Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas morning ... and... MamaJJ...


Scoot over MamaJJ...

because there's a new sheriff in town...

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Color Code for today's blog:

Mavis

Handsome Husband

Words I am putting into MamaJJ's mouth

The handsome husband surprised me Christmas morning
with a genuine... real...complete with box... gift.

I say surprised because...

1) It really WAS a surprise...

2) When he asked me if I wanted anything for Christmas I had told him..."No...there was nothing I really wanted"... but he kept on asking...and then finally (I smartened up)...I told him... "Well, actually YES,... there is ONE thing I'd really like to have..."

"A gift card to P A N E R A..."

(I dislike paying for restaurant food immensely... BUT... if someone were to gift me a meal at Panera... Well, that is something else entirely)

But... before I go any further...

Not that I really need too....
because you already know how thrifty I am...
but...
just in case you had any doubts.....

this...is what I gave the handsome husband for Christmas this year....


A one year supply

of

lotion..

Umm... because....

1) Although we typically don't give each other gifts... this year... especially after the latest chicken incident... I wanted to offer him some sort of token of my appreciation for putting up with the likes of me...(and of course I wanted it to be useful)

2) Who (besides a cave man) doesn't like lotion?

3) I've had to listen to him complain (for the last month) that he was "out" of lotion... meaning...(in man vocabulary) there was actually still lotion left in the bottle... he just had to OPEN the top of the bottle to get out said lotion to moisturize his sweet...handsome... Irish face...

4) By giving him an entire year supply of his very OWN lotion...
I wouldn't have to listen to him going off on any more 2 minute rants about how "Normal people don't have to pull the top off the bottle to get their lotion out... because they buy new lotion...that comes out when you push down on the pump thingy...That's....what NORMAL PEOPLE do. Normal people don't have to stand around every morning trying to scavenge the last few drops of lotion from the bottom of the bottle because their wife is ultra cheap...."


Seriously?


Look at that...

I think he has at least another week of lotion in there...



(FYI: This is my new 1 year supply of lotion... gifted to me via Leopard Girl and my Mom)



and just in time... for I have also been pulling off the top of my lotion bottle lately as well...

So anyway... back to the story...

When the handsome husband handed me a (heavier than a gift card) cardboard box that had a bunch of electronic store mumbo jumbo on it... I looked at him suspiciously.... and immediately said... "Wow... I had no idea the electronics store sold Panera Gift cards"... (I'm so ungrateful).

He smirked... and said "OPEN IT"

So I did...

and inside the cardboard box was a new (just for me) laptop...

"that's nice" I thought...

then he told me to flip open the screen...

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and then...

I found this waiting for me...


and I was thrilled to bits...

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Holy Crackers!!!

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And then...

I immediately thought of that MamaJJ


and how... the other day when the handsome husband read my blog (and he hardly ever reads the blog) MamaJJ had left a comment about her Dad shooting a deer in his Fruit of the Loom underwear and then he asked me...

"Who's MamaJJ?"

And so I told him... "Oh she's this lady in Virginia who cracks me up... she hangs out at Panera at all hours writing her blog" "She can't possibly hang out there all the time... how long does it take to write a few words down anyway?"...Ummm... days... she's a grammar-a-holic... and she just doesn't write a few words... actually it's more like 20 paragraphs at a time"...."What does her husband think about that?"..."He's a guy... c'mon... as long as dinner is on the table and he has clean clothes... and yada yada yada... What does he care?"

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Don't you just love it when you find out that you were the topic
of someone else's dinner conversation?

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And anyway...

It seems like every other day she is twittering or blogging something
from her (reserved?) booth at Panera ...

taunting me with ...

"PANERA this... and PANERA that"...

"Ohh, I went to PANERA today and ordered a cafe mocha extra hot non fat triple shot vanilla skinny tall latte with extra whip and go heavy on the cinnamon sprinkles...'' or "My wonderful Mr. Handsome just dropped me off at PANERA for an hour so I could write in peace and quiet... blah blah blah... isn't life just wonderful".... Basically what she is really saying is "I'M AT PANERA... (and you Little Miss Mavis are NOT)"

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I don't know...

maybe I'm just jealous...

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Okay... so I was jealous...

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BUT NOT ANYMORE!!!!!

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Bring it on SISTER!


YOU....


ARE....


GOING....


DOWN !!!

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And Mama JJ...

FYI: if you think this whole "Mavis Goes To Panera"

thing is a one time deal...

Ummm...

think again...

Because not only did I receive 1 gift card to Panera...

but I received

2 gift cards to Panera...

(the second one was from my Father)

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So...see JJ... I can write a story with 20+ paragraphs in it too...

and you want to know why???

Huh??

Huh??

IT'S

BECAUSE

I'M

AT

*PANERA*

Yep... that's me....


*AT PANERA*

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...this has been Mavis...

blogging live...

from you guessed it...

PANERA!!




14 comments:

  1. Hooray! Way to go HH!! Blogging from Panera. I want your life.

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  2. I really must stop reading this blog so early in the morning. My wife just spit coffee all over herself while trying to hold back laughter...it wasn't Panera coffee.:)

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  3. Leopard Girl...some days I wonder about the handsome husband...He knows me better than I think he does...tomorrow... you'll get YOUR post.

    Mr.H...I wouldn't expect it to be Panera coffee... I would suspect you have a coffee tree growing in the backyard under one of those poly tunnels of yours :) I'm thrilled to hear my life is amusing to Mrs.H...however I'm sure living with you amuses her every day as well.

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  4. Okay. I had to read this twice in order to comprehend one small fact: you got a LAPTOP?!? And you're talking about PANERA?!? Oh honey, honey, HONEY, you are sooooooo confused. It's the LAPTOP you are supposed to be excited about. Your husband must be truly awesome if he is able to understand what it is that goes on in that Panera-loving head of yours.

    So, how many trips to Panera do you think you'll be able to eek out of those two cards?

    Maybe next year you could ask for a plane ticket AND a Panera gift card, and then you could fly out to meet me at MY Panera and we could sit side by side at one of the tall tables, typing furiously. Or rather, we could just talktalktalk and laughlaughlaugh so hard that we spit mouthfuls of coffee every which way.

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  5. Oh MamaJJ.... Sadly I was not impressed with the razzle me dazzle new fangled laptop... I mean after all... we already have a computer... and in my frugal mind I translated it into "how much did that cost us".... instead of the normal..."Oh how thoughtful"....HOWEVER... after spending pretty much the last three days in bed (except for the trip to Panera yesterday) I have come to realize what a great... insightful gift it really was. The handsome husband has unknowingly created a monster by giving me my very own laptop... I may just have to go break a leg or something so I can stay in my pj's all day and type...well...at least until gardening season.

    And actually... since you brought it up... we are planning a trip to the East Coast... and on the list of "sights to see" is "Walton's Mountain Museum" in Virginia...I'm not sure how far away that is from you.... but if it's close by... I'd rather you teach me how to make doughnuts than go to Panera together :)

    Happy day JJ... you crack me up.

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  6. Oh, and I forgot to ask: Why are you hanging out between the sheets? Are you sick?

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  7. MamaJJ...Seriously??? You know I DO LOVE TO SAVE MONEY... Will your mom be there? What about Dr.Perfection? And HELLO... of course I want to go to thyhand's house too... but if I do come to visit you...my second request would be that we all wear prom dresses... maybe to Panera?

    And... FYI... NO... I am not sick... but since the handsome husband has been home all week and it's cold outside I see no point in getting out of bed or my pj's for that matter...especially to do something silly like take a shower...however if it makes you feel better I have been brushing my teeth :)

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  8. Dead serious, am I. According to mapquest, we're one-and-a-half hours from that museum. Just give me the date...

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  9. Oh dear me...all these comments have been WAY more entertaining than the actual post! ;-)

    Have a great week Mavis!
    Blessings,
    Camille

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  10. MamaJJ... I can't wait! I'll let you know as soon we we figure out all the details...

    Camille... Isn't it funny how it works out that way sometimes :)

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  11. What fun! (Not to mention that I'm proud of my big sis for her goading capabilities.)

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  12. Okay. This post was hilarious and the comments have me all giddy. Holy cats. Mavis in Virginia. Yeeehaw!

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  13. i came over here from a link on mama jj's blog. because any blog that is linked to the word "panera" surely must be a blog worth checking out. :-) panera gift cards are all the rage around here, too... second only to barnes & noble gift cards.

    but i'm with mama jj. i can't believe you got a laptop and barely noticed. because in my book, no trip to panera is complete without a laptop. (well, unless i am there on a date with my husband or one of my kids... then i leave the laptop home... reluctantly.)

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  14. 40winkzzz... Oh that JJ... she's a trouble maker! I totally disagree with all of you :) I'm there for the food... However... I may change my mind...I have only been there once with a laptop...and I ended up staying 2 hours... so maybe you two are on to something :)

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I LOVE comments BUT if you know who we are...due to the fact that we are currently enrolled in the international witness relocation program because of a moon shining incident in Dingle, Ireland involving 3 Mutton, a pair of red shoes and a road flare .... please do not reveal our personal information.... You know.... like names, places, or our favorite brand of toilet paper :) Hey, thanks!